Celibrated Oddities -- by Occlan
WolfSkunks are known to give rize to the occasional wild mutation. Alot of these are now detected at birth, and a Bond WolfSkunk is assigned for reasearch and protection.
Here's a list of a few who's given us alot of attention.
Admr. Shotgun
The first afflicted with Overactive Ureathal Pump. The only one who takes under a minute to drain hir bladder. Awarded with many metals of honor by using some novel methods in combat, including using hir "cannon." Hir parents decided even though they did a random name for hir and hir littermates, they "named Shotgun apropiately. *smile*"
Status: Unshadowed.
RedWolf
History:
- Born a genetic polymorph to a POW and hir mate
- Within two weeks of birth, cubnapped by a few CobraWolves.
- Over three years, was grown, experimented on, tourchured, raped, and "reprogrammed"
- Recoded with a human personality (Mr. Kelly Price of Sol 3) and deposited on Sol 3 in place of Mr. Price.
- After seven years discovering hir abilities, trained for and "infiltrated" Canmeph 2 (WolfSkunk homeworld).
- Found, trained by SputWolfSkunks for full emulation
- Tested and found to be missing cub. After some research was welcomed as a WolfSkunk.
- Nuked CobraWolves' research ship and retrieved Mr. Price.
- Welcomed home
An Oracle by default, of enhanced genetic structure(Nali/Philosopher, Observer, and Kitsume). Includes Draconic, Dual-breast, Tiger-stripe mutations.
Status: Unshadowed.
WildKat
A BBS sysop turned ISP owner, jumping on early. A Nali w/Naga mutation, with two newer mutations, the leg length mutation and the polyorchid mutation. 18' tall. By midlife was living confortably. Recently stretched, pierced cock; stretched balls.
Status: Shadow active, but bored.
DualLaw
DualLaw is a Historian class judge. Shi loves the profession, and has handed down many judgements more evenhanded than any other judge. DualLaw has fun with it, too, as an unconventional judge.
Noted cases include:
* A sidebar was called over a line of questioning the defense was persuing. The defence explained itself, but the procecution objected. DualLaw interrupted saying to the prosecution "Talk to the other head." (the questioning continued, but suspect found guilty)
* A juvenile lost hir mind while being tried for murder as an adult, and "went apeshit." At the first instance, DualLaw picked hir up by the scruff of the kid's neck and gave hir a mouthful, twice, at the same time. This confused the juvenile so much that shi begged to be institutionalized (which shi was for a time)
* The Supreme Court asked for DualLaw's reasoning for conviction of a murderer. What they got was a 20 page, double-sided paper with two columns, one for the defendant, one against, all in logical detail. The Supreem Court, apon receiving the document, refused to hear the case -- for DualLaw considered *everything*!
* A clown came in and disrupted the proceedings with a cream pie in hand for the judge. However, shi got so confused when shi saw DualLaw that the judge took the pie, said "Ooooo, desert!" and promptly ordered an investigation. The person contracting the "hitgoy" was convicted of poorly planned pranking and sentenced to a humous non-death of cream-pie targetry.
* A human filed a frivolous lawsuit against RedWolf. DualLaw read half way through the thousands of pretrial motions, got annoyed at the absurdities, and dragged both into court. RedWolf showed, the human didn't. DualLaw ripped the file up, tossed out the case, and had the human arrested for pissing off a judge. Due to the overwelming evidence (the pretrial motions), the human kook was sentenced to death by wooden mallet, and promptly suspended for extradition.
* A supervisor came in and asked why DualLaw declared a mistrial on a jury case. One head said "They tossed out half of the defense case even though it was backed up more than enough to set the defendant free." The other said "The prosecution sucked eggs. It was a crackpot. An Oracle would of tossed it out." Both eventually said, "The jury was not a legal one, and is now sitting in a cell while their backgrounds are being checked." All the supervisor could do was nod as shi was handed the file.
* Related to the above, an investigation followed -- and DualLaw had photocopies of *everything* related to the case in twenty crates ready for the SputWolfSkunks to pick up. The expression on their face was priceless. (The jury was fined, the judge assigning the jury forced into early retirement)
* A couple and their grown sire continouly disrupted court proceedings. Instead of removing them, DualLaw halted the court, vaulted over the bench, picked up the parents, and expressed hir displeasure by song(sung to "My Favorite Things"):
Names and faces and facts and places,
What is the charge and your defense is?
Lawyers arguing in a duel,
These are things which I must rule.
This loud bickering needs investigation.
This abuse leads to obstuction.
Arguments just light up the fuel,
These are things which I must rule.
When the law's broke,
When the facts spoke,
I must settle the score.
I am the one to see before,
My judgment appealed, or stands.
You, and your other, arguing with sire.
Your voices' loudness makes it dire.
Resolution is needed for true,
These are things which I must rule.
Discomfort is normal, ask the lawyers,
SputWolfSkunk ade's right at the foyer,
Dont' be mad and don't be blue,
These are things which I must rule.
(CrickLade)
Let us air out,
these com-plaints,
let me lend an ear.
Sit down and I'll buy you a beer,
The court's postponed.
(By that time CrickLade came in and chipped in. The trio was arguing over what to have for lunch, and the sire was of Historian class.)
* At times, there are days at which DualLaw is ahead, and hears a small case to help out the load. One time a petitioner for a restraining order frequently dropped into slang. The first time shi was warned. When it happened again, DualLaw interupted in sterio: "Now I know you mean well, but this is a courthouse that requires respect for those involved in it's workings. However, you show disrespect by not using professional wording. The next time it happens again, I'm going to be pissed off and hold you in contempt." The petitioner never dropped again, except for the restraining order. (A SputWolfSkunk witnessed this and wondered if DualLaw wasn't a Sput in disquize. )
* RedWolf visited, and DualLaw sang:
Here comes ol' flat-top
Shi's got googoo eyeballs,
Shi's got roaming fingers,
and a large bustline.
Shi says
"I know you,
you know me,
one thing we strive for is we got to be free."
Come together
right now
over me.
CrickLade
Cheif Justice CrickLade is discussed in other documents.
The Grout One
Strangely enough, every public restroom on Canmeph 2 has been visited by The Grout One. Always writing on the tiling, he/she/shi has never been caught. Only indirect proof exists of The Grout One's existance. However, The Grout One has provided much humor in his/her/hir time.
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